National Abortion Background Check to Begin December 1st

Now that the post Heller “reasonable common sense firearms restrictions” flood in from all corners of the country I found this satire from my archives which I concocted the last time I discussed “reasonable common sense restrictions” with the gungrabbers among us.

It seems the arguments never change, only the decade in which they occur.

I could have updated it to sound more contemporary, but the charm of the original is almost quaint by today’s standards.


National Abortion Background Check to begin December 1st.

Generally unnoticed and underreported by the media, new laws take effect December 1st of this year to assure all citizens are safe from the dangers of unregulated abortions.

All women who receive abortions will be entered into a national registry and will only be allowed to have one abortion per year.

There will be mandatory counseling from an authorized priest or psychiatrist coupled with a three day “cooling off” waiting period.

Small rural clinics will be replaced with satellite abortion operating rooms attached to major hospitals in large cities.

No one under the age of eighteen will be allowed to have an abortion without the supervision of their parents.

All women who wish to have an abortion must produce references from a close friend or relative who will certify their need for abortion is absolutely necessary.

“We support a woman’s right to choose” said Christian Coalition Leader Jerry Falwell, “but think these regulations are necessary to protect the public from the violence associated with unrestricted access to abortions.”

Patricia Ireland, President of The National Organization For Women (NOW) disagrees. “These regulations are nothing are nothing more than a draconian curtailment of the God given freedoms that established this country and made it a beacon of hope it has become for people around the world.”

“We will fight this by any means necessary.”


3 responses to “National Abortion Background Check to Begin December 1st

  1. Pingback: Over 60? Turn In Your Guns! « John Jacob H’s RKBA Commentary

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