Yes, Virginia, there are such creatures as Trash Police.
No word on whether they are armed or whether they will break down your door at midnight and shoot your dog.
They do however seem to have taken instruction from former President William Jefferson “BJ” Clinton on the proper definition of the word “is” since they are able to distinguish between the lawful use of a trash can and a refuse receptacle.
CALLER: Well, the garbage police are onto me. I — about two weeks ago I was anticipating a delivery from our local UPS driver. I noticed the driver was several blocks away. So I walked down the street, got the package from the driver and proceeded back to my office. On the way back, I opened the envelope, took the contents out and dropped the envelope in the trash can as I was walking into my office. Two days later I get this notice in the mail, or three days later I get the notice in the mail that I have unlawfully used city maintained baskets and ……..
CALLER: Right. Right. Well, in Charleston we have some pretty strict guidelines on using trash.
CALLER: And that’s not actually a trash can. That is a refuse receptacle, if I’m — if I remember correct, correctly.