Raleigh Constituent files his latest report from North Carolina:
Dear John Jacob,
The only two things I really know about North Carolina House Bill Number 2.
Thing #1: Republican Good Ole Boys in their Smoke Filled Back Rooms believe HB2 to
be the greatest Legislation since the Magna Carta.
Thing #2: Democrat Good Ole Bolsheviks in their Tofu Filled Back Rooms believe HB2 to
be the worst legal edict since street urchins were executed for treasonous theft of bakery
bread in Dickensian England.
Really. That is all I know.
How this will alter the outcome of November elections is a mystery to me and equally
mysterious (to me) is why Republicans would set land speed records with a special session
to fight this particular battle when SO many other subjects need attention and remedy.
Shut down the Department of Education? Repeal the State Income Tax? Make light bulbs
legal again in North Carolina? How did BATHROOMS move to the top of the list?
Naturally Communist Chatterratti dominate the airwaves and broadsheets
and Internet Tubes with virtually no information beyond the breathless news how
bad, bad, bad this must be and the need for summary and immediate repeal.
To be fair today’s obsession with public restrooms maybe nothing more than
the logical legacy of yesteryear’s obsession with outhouses and privies here in
In any case to me this seems to be another instance where the Children of Cain
have added complexity to an otherwise easily understood topic.
Just as Urban Yoots need sex education because they never lived in an agrarian
environment surrounded by birds and bees and hogs and horses and even chickens
and dogs in heat, Urban Adults need laws to help them understand why people
need to conduct their private business, uh, privately.
Me? I think I may just follow the example of that Astronaut who drove across
country in Depends to kidnap her lover. Who needs bathrooms?